by Australian alumnae Chrissy Widrose
"It is still very strange to think that tomorrow night I would have finished my mission here with Hearts home India. I cannot seem to fully comprehend this fact. So many friends and dear ones I leave behind to begin another journey that God has prepared for me. I think that one of the important lessons I have learnt is that of ’being’ – how in everything that we are called to do we are also called to ’be’. For me, being is the hardest thing I could think of doing. I have always been a do-er, if somebody is sick I can cook them some food, if something is broken I will attempt to fix it, I can offer advice for someone who is sharing. There were times in my life where I thought that my value depended on the things that I did or didn’t do. In fact this is still a struggle and I suspect that I am not the only one who feels this way. It is a very easy ditch to fall into. When I came to Heart’s Home and all of this didn’t matter I found myself faced with the question- ’who am I now?’ My education doesn’t matter, our friends don’t care about my qualifications, my looks, my face, or the power I wield at home, only my heart matters. There is a great vulnerability here that demands great trust in Him who sent me.
Our friends most of them in their simplicity and humility have a way of seeing right into my heart and revealing to me what I can truly strive to be. Their trust in me, their hope and love for me make me want to be more than I am. For me, I see Jesus in them, challenging me to be all that I was created to be. Could I face the pain of our friends in their suffering and poverty without running away inside myself? Could I really see the face of Jesus? I can say that with the grace of God these things slowly became more clear and easier to bear and understand. Without mass and adoration daily, without surrendering the lives, hopes and dreams of each person we encountered with open hands, hearts and sometimes tears to the Lord, I would not have survived this powerful experience. Our friends were to me a ’living’ Jesus, their acceptance of suffering taught me how to ’be’ with God, it taught me faith and courage. It taught me how to sit in the presence of God. Their poverty taught me true freedom and made me think about the essentials in life. Their generosity amazed me! Their smiles warmed my heart and their tears wounded me. They are my brothers and sisters, mothers and fathers, and I have so many grandparents now, its awesome. As I start to say goodbye and reflect on the precious time we had together, I realize how much they have meant to me and how much they have changed my life for the better. This mission was a precious time, a privileged time. A time of great comfort, love and peace. A time that taught me really see who I am and where I want to be.